Travel Mishaps and Mayham

Travel Gods giveth and the Travel Gods taketh away.

Some trips are good. Some suck.

As long as you survive to tell the tale, I guess it's not a total loss.  With that half-hearted sentiment written, I give you my top 5 travel fails.

In no particular order. And yes it's ok to laugh.

1. My son and I tried to walk on the the NASA base in Houston.
Guard: "Excuse me ma'am. Do you have security clearance?"
Me.... "Security clearance? Just a couple of nice Canadians wanting to see a space shuttle."
Guard: Ma'am, the museum is the next street over. 
Me..."Oh. Sorry."
(Silver lining: Nobody got arrested)

2.  Westjet decided the 16 people on the flight weren't going to make the connection and sent our flight to Honolulu without us. (20 minutes ahead of schedule.) With no apology we were forced to pay our own hotel and wait for a flight the next day. That was on my birthday, last year.  (Silver lining: I had a great travel companion and the bartender bought the first round of drinks at the airport bar.)

3. Went to Vegas for the Rod Stewart concert. Treated myself to a new dress, makeup and a professional up-do. Rushed through dinner to arrive on-time, only to learn that the concert had been cancelled at the last minute.  I cried. Smeared my makeup. Looked like a sad clown.  (Silver lining: 6 months later, I was in Vegas again. At the last minute bought balcony seats to the Rod Stewart concert and was upgraded to front of the house by the usher. He said I was too pretty to sit in the back. No clown makeup that day! LOL)

4. On my 40th birthday, I arrived back in Wpg, in a snowstorm. I had asked my brother to pick me up at the airport but he was "too tired" to drive from his house 10 minutes away. So I waited nearly 2 hours for a cab and the snow was really staring to pile up. Cabbie refused to try the side streets, so I had to walk at 2AM through knee high snow about 1 km to my brother's house. I was so cold & hungry by the time I arrived that I took a microwave dinner out of his freezer and ate it. The next morning he yelled at me for eating his lunch. As if I didn't already hate turing 40 enough. (Silver lining: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.)

5.  I had my credit card number ripped off at a major hotel in Florida. After I checked in, the thief re-created the card and went to town racking up charges in Florida. Since I had set a travel alert to Florida, the CC company didn't red flag the charges. I only realized the disaster when my CC was declined for a $50 meal outside the hotel.  That was a major headache. (Silver lining: I had alternate payment means with me, and the fraudulent charges were reversed after investigation.)

Fast 5 Travel Tips: 5 Canadian Travel Lies

1. About Canadian Prairie Winters - "It's not that bad, it's a dry cold" we say. And yet we actually just slide around on our icy roads all winter, going from Tim Hortons to Tim Hortons, sipping hot chocolate to keep the blood from freezing in our veins.

2. Your money is worth more here! - But just wait until we add 15% tax to everything!

3. You only need a few days to see Canada - Are you kidding? Our landmass is vast and our transportation expensive. Don't think you can see Quebec and Alberta in the same week.

4. We're not all lumberjacks and hockey players.  But we DO all dress like lumberjacks and hockey players every winter! From coast to coast you'll see flannel plaid shirts and hockey jerseys on young and old. It's like our unofficial patriotic uniform.

5. Salmon jerky and ice wine are Canadian delicacies. Trust me, you should pass on the Salmon Jerky. It's not even good after a whole bottle of ice wine.  I don't even think it would be good with maple syrup on it. And don't even get me started on screech and prairie oysters (Buffalo/Bison  testicles)! Our regional food is.... funny, in a "I can't believe you actually ate that" kind of way.

But don't trust just my opinion. You should come up and see it for yourself. You might like it, eh?!!

Fast 5 Travel Tips: Don't jump off a bridge

5 Reasons why it's better to plan a vacation rather than jump off a bridge.

1. There are no cool souvenirs to collect if you jump off a bridge. But there are lots of postcards, cheesy t-shirts, shot glasses and keychains to collect on vacations.

2. You can only jump off a bridge once. You can plan several vacations. Go on vacations as often as you need to.

3. People try to talk you out of jumping off a bridge. No one ever tries to talk you out of going to Disneyland or the Caribbean.

4. Jumping off a bridge is a very public and messy thing. Vacations can be as beautiful and discreet as you want them to be.

5. Your family will hate it if you jump off a bridge whereas, your family will cheer and overwhelm you with hugs when you tell them you're taking them on vacation.

Bridge 0.....Vacation 5

#Vacation for the win!